Last night was not my idea of “hot and steamy”. If you live in the UK, you know that “summer” is totally subjective. There are rumours of summer. There are memories. But “summer” seems to never truly happen these days – not for an extended period of time, at least. Heat waves, though…

Now, don’t you worry. This isn’t a climate control post; rather, it’s more about self-control. We’re experiencing uncomfortable, humid days

and nights right now, and as much as I’d love to be able to go to bed and enjoy a “little lovin'”, there’s something about your 3-year-old wandering in – rubbing her eyes, all hot and bothered and needing a wee – that just, you know, kills the mood.

LESSON: keep your underwear close. Really close. Perhaps around one ankle at all times.

What does this have to do with self-control, you may wonder? Well, you could overreact. You could fall off the bed as you’re reaching for something – anything – to cover your Bare Essentials. You could get annoyed that your child has just ruined it for you because, let’s face it, it’s not easy to start it up again after a lengthy interruption.

I was telling someone about our little Mission: Impossible, and she said something that, although I can identify with it, I think is a little sad; she said that just having kids is enough to stop sex. I know we’re all different, but kids should not prevent you from getttin’ it on. Yes, of course, after you welcome your child into the world, sex is definitely the last thing on your mind (if you’re the mum), and almost always on your mind (if you’re me a man)… but that should just be temporary (in my opinion). Once you both feel ready, you need to start things up again, at a pace you’re both comfortable with. Even if it means scheduling some time together, having a cuddle and, you know, only getting to 2nd Base, it’s important to get your fire back.

Yes, you might be tired are often flipping exhausted; but that just means you need to make the most of every opportunity, and prioritise your time a little differently.

Tired sex is just not really worth it, and if you go down that route, you’ll end up associating sex with being boring, and a real chore. Not cool.

So, to sum up:

  1. if you both do enjoy a little late-night romp, but you get cut short in your prime, be cool. Don’t take it out on your little wandering child. If you and your spouse are eager enough, you’ll be able to pick things up where they left off soon enough.
  2. if you just don’t feel like having sex, but you have no physical reason not to, talk about it together. See if you can arrange a flirty date night together, and see what happens afterwards.

Now that is my idea of hot and steamy.

But what about you? Share your tips about how you keep things romantic while being a parent.

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